


can i get a yeehaw

by VioletLopez



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers - Ambiguous Fandom
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Implied/Referenced Underage Sex, Multi, Underage Drinking, her brother does not appreciate it, hes wonderful though, i thought about typing out characters but theres just so many, loki and thor are Rich Kids, loki owns like. a lot of cars, phil and nick and maria do not have their shit together but theyre trying, please accept my mistakes, reputations matter, rhodey is the best bro even if people give him shit for being friends with tony, shuri likes to fuck with her brother, some illegal shiz goes down, thor and steve and rhodey and t'challa are on the football team, tony and pepper are exes, tony is Not Popular, wanda and pepper and peggy are those cheerleaders that are always fighting, which they do
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-18
Updated: 2019-03-13
Packaged: 2019-10-30 23:51:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17838395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VioletLopez/pseuds/VioletLopez
Summary: (title in progress)-itswednesday: wanna come watch mean girls with memydudes: its a thursday tonymydudes: im not sneaking through your window when we have school tomorrow-they're trying their best. (except some of them are trying their worst, and some of their 'best' isn't very good, and some of them really aren't trying at all, but repressed emotions and the occasional joint never hurt nobody, right?)





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [cazei](https://archiveofourown.org/users/cazei/gifts).



> i bet you're all wondering why ive gathered you here today :)

**ii am sqaud:**  
_members: theseshadesrgucci (loki odinson), nat.the.rat (natasha romanov), ioncedrankbleach (clint barton), mr.whitewolf (bucky barnes), peanut (wade wilson), nobehindyou (peter quill), mctouchthesky (sam wilson)_

theseshadesrgucci: efjowefuiwbefiuwbf

ioncedrankbleach: you good

theseshadesrgucci: i cannot even fathom my own ineptness

theseshadesrgucci: i am so useless

theseshadesrgucci: god, smite me now

ioncedrankbleach: i mean mood

ioncedrankbleach: but is there context to this or should i be concerned

theseshadesrgucci: i cut my fuvking leg five times because i cant fuvking shave right

theseshadesrgucci: *fuvking

theseshadesrgucci: fuvk autocorrect

ioncedrankbleach: this why i dont shave

nat.the.rat: was it the back of your knee

theseshadesrgucci: YES

nat.the.rat: hell on earth

nat.the.rat: i'll mourn for you

mr.whitewolf: hey can you guys uhhhh go the fuck to sleep

ioncedrankbleach: who?????

theseshadesrgucci: whos sleep she sounds cute

nat.the.rat: thirsty much

theseshadesrgucci: see im not hopelessly pining over a cheerleader so my thirst is a general thing

nat.the.rat: go die in a hole

mr.whitewolf: alternatively, go to sleep

nat.the.rat: i have never slept in my life and i am CERTAINLY not starting NOW

mr.whitewolf: i hate you all

-

**science bros:**  
_members: itswednesday (tony stark), rip.vine (shuri), chemystery (bruce banner)_

itswednesday: its confirmed

itswednesday: just in

itswednesday: breaking news

itswednesday: i have absolutely two brain cells

chemystery: tony, you’re a genius.

itswednesday: bruce, i have two brain cells

itswednesday: maximum

itswednesday: being generous

rip.vine: what made you figure it out

itswednesday: i ate rat poison

chemystery: YOU WHAT

itswednesday: lmao

rip.vine: are you at the hospital

rip.vine: or did you call poison control or something

itswednesday: no i cant find my phone

rip.vine: ,,,,,tony

itswednesday: im watching mean girls

itswednesday: if i spam rhodey enough will he come sneak in with me

chemystery: i’m still shook that you’re friends with a footballer

chemystery: y o u

itswednesday: are you implying something, sir

chemystery: tony, the last time you played a sport was t-ball when you were six.

itswednesday: sorry, my two brain cells don’t remember that

rip.vine: slut

itswednesday: absolutely

chemystery: i’m going to sleep.

rip.vine: nerd

chemystery: shuri, do you remember why tony’s father hates you?

rip.vine: you mean because i interrupted his presentation to tell him he was wrong and then correct him back when i was a pretentious freshman that hated all white men?

chemystery: what’s changed?

rip.vine: i’m a junior now

itswednesday: shuri, i love you

rip.vine: love you too

chemystery: this is far too wholesome for 3 am on a thursday

chemystery: so shut up now

rip.vine: sister snap

chemystery: if you say that again i’ll set hulk on you

rip.vine: going to bed now-

-

**private chat:**  
_members: itswednesday (tony stark) and mydudes (james rhodes)_

itswednesday: rhodeyyyyyyyy

itswednesday: bruce was bullying me for being friends with you

mydudes: tragic

mydudes: fuck off im sleeping

itswednesday: wanna come watch mean girls with me

mydudes: its a thursday tony

mydudes: im not sneaking through your window when we have school tomorrow

itswednesday: okay fine

mydudes: are you sad?

itswednesday: teh fuck kind of question? im not sad rhodey what the hell

mydudes: anthony.

itswednesday: dw about it bro

itswednesday: its nothing

mydudes: i don’t believe you at all

itswednesday: its nothing! fr fr i promise :D

mydudes: …

mydudes: fine.

mydudes: sit with me at lunch tomorrow?

itswednesday: rhodey, your friends hate me

mydudes: i’ll tell them to leave you alone

itswednesday: its fine, i’ll just eat with bruce in the chem lab

mydudes: fine

mydudes: don’t blow anything up

itswednesday: no promises

itswednesday: sleep well

-

**olive oil:**  
_members: pay_your_taxes (steve rogers), mydudes (james rhodes), isthatasnake (thor odinson), salt (pepper potts), pantherpaws (t'challa), scarlet_witch (wanda maximoff), woman_up (peggy carter)_

isthatasnake: so!

isthatasnake: when is the football game?

pay_your_taxes: you mean our school football game?

pay_your_taxes: the homecoming football game?

pay_your_taxes: with our football team?

pay_your_taxes: which you are on?

isthatasnake: yes, that’s the one!

scarlet_witch: it’s next friday, thor

mydudes: why does everyone think that 3 am is the right time to text

isthatasnake: i think there’s a tarantula in my room

isthatasnake: so i’m hiding in the basement

mydudes: our fearless quarterback, everyone

isthatasnake: i have one (1) fear

mydudes: tarantulas?

isthatasnake: no, my little brother

pay_your_taxes: honestly, your sister scares me more

isthatasnake: *i have two (2) fear

woman_up: *fears

scarlet_witch: shut up peggy no one cares about your academic bullshit right now

woman_up: excuse me?

scarlet_witch: it’s deadass 3:20 am go to sleep

-

**the office season 7 episode 19 14:45:**  
_members: theseshadesrgucci (loki odinson), nat.the.rat (natasha romanov), mr.whitewolf (bucky barnes)_

theseshadesrgucci: anyone want a ride to school

mr.whitewolf: what car you driving

theseshadesrgucci: maserati

mr.whitewolf: the day i pass up a ride in a maserati is the day i die

nat.the.rat: SHIT WE HAVE SCHOOL

mr.whitewolf: i mean loki could pick us up and we could just go hang at the river or some shit if you guys want

theseshadesrgucci: you think i drive my gold maserati if im not publically flexing?

theseshadesrgucci: also i heard there’s cheerleader tea

mr.whitewolf: how’d you hear about cheerleader tea when you don’t know any cheerleaders????

nat.the.rat: i was a cheerleader in middle school

mr.whitewolf: you were a what now

theseshadesrgucci: clint has pictures

-

**private chat:**  
_members: nat.the.rat (natasha romanov) and ioncedrankbleach (clint barton)_

nat.the.rat: delete them

-

**the office season 7 episode 19 14:45:**  
_members: theseshadesrgucci (loki odinson), nat.the.rat (natasha romanov), mr.whitewolf (bucky barnes)_

theseshadesrgucci: i heard abt the tea because my brother came into my room carrying a tarantula this morning

nat.that.rat: the fuck

theseshadesrgucci: im not done, dumbass

theseshadesrgucci: thor is deathly afraid of spiders, so i put carrie in his room last night and this morning he carried it in with no fear in his eyes and said “here. she is less scary than fighting cheerleaders.”

nat.the.rat: pedal to the medal bitch i wanna get to school

theseshadesrgucci: *metal

-

Pietro had this nasty habit of getting Starbucks in the morning. Normally, Wanda didn’t really mind, because usually, he bought it for her too, but right now the last thing she needed was to be late. It was bad enough that she was driving to school with her nerdy brother.

“Someone’s in a bad mood,” Pietro commented, glancing over at her. She glared at him. “What happened?”

“Peggy’s being a bitch because I told her to shut up last night.”

Pietro snorted. “She’s mad at you every other week, Wanda.”

“If I get kicked off the team right before homecoming I’m dead,” Wanda snapped, taking a sip of her mocha. “Besides, she has too much dirt on me for this. Pepper tells her everything.”

“What kind of dirt?”

She glanced over at her brother- her innocent, concerned brother- and smiled reassuringly. “Nothing big. Just some shit I did a couple years ago.” He doesn’t believe her. He can always tell when she’s lying. “Speed up. I can’t be late.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tony is high, thor eats a shoe, and gamora is accused of xenophobia

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello im back to haunt yall some more

**Student Council:**   
_members: sothatswhatitdoes (phil coulson), woman_up (peggy carter), interesting.perspective (maria hill), timeforyoutogetawatch (nick fury), salt (pepper potts), mydudes (james rhodes)_

timeforyoutogetawatch: Good morning, everyone. There is a Student Council meeting after school today until 4:45.

sothatswhatitdoes: what if i was planning on playing minecraft after school today

timeforyoutogetawatch: Coulson, if you make another Minecraft joke I’m kicking you out.

-

**private chat:**   
_members: sothatswhatitdoes (phil coulson) and timeforyoutogetawatch (nick fury)_

sothatswhatitdoes: you love me

timeforyoutogetawatch: Get your ass to school, you’re late

sothatswhatitdoes: youuuu love meeeeeee

-

“Are you high?” Tony shrugged at the question, grinning at Bruce’s aghast expression. “Jesus. Get in the car, Stark.”

Tony laughed, scrambling into the passenger’s seat. “We’re not driving Princess Pickle today?”

“No, she started her internship with your dad today,” Bruce replied, backing out of the driveway. “She left for the city at 5:30.” Tony frowned.

“Poor girl.” He leaned his head back against the seat and gave a breathy chuckle. “I feel like shit.”

“Did you sleep?”

The look Tony gave him was answer enough. Bruce sighed. “You’re a disaster.”

Tony nodded. “Yeah. Rhodes texted me this morning and told me there’s cheerleader tea though, so I’m going to school anyway.”

“I love how our school revolves around cheerleaders,” Bruce replied, laughing. The last time he’d heard about drama that didn’t involve Peggy Carter, Pepper Potts, or Wanda Maximoff, he’d been in middle school and it was all about Natasha Romanov. He hadn’t seen much of Natasha recently- she’d gone off the deep end after eighth grade and ended up in cohorts with Barnes and Barton and the quarterback’s emo little brother. Last he’d heard, they’d gotten arrested for smoking pot in the mayor’s backyard.

He glanced over at Tony. Sometimes he wondered if his friend and Barton might get along. Then he remembered Barton getting suspended for wearing brass knuckles at school and he figured, hey, everyone was probably better off never finding out, huh? He chuckled softly to himself.

-

“Loki, that was a stop sign!”

“Oops. Thought it said road work ahead.”

“Uh, yeah, I sure _hope_ it does.”

-

**i hate this fucking family:**   
_members: isthatasnake (thor odinson), theseshadesrgucci (loki odinson), fcuk (hela odinson)_

_[isthatasnake changed his name to isthatatarantula]_

isthatatarantula: you little BITCH

theseshadesrgucci: her name is carrie, don’t disrespect her

isthatatarantula: i’ll beat ur ass

theseshadesrgucci: no you wont

isthatataratula: stfu

fcuk: go to school punks im trying to sleep

-

**space pirates:**   
_members: kicknamestakeass (mantis), butwhy (drax), nobehindyou (peter quill), freaks >geeks (gamora), i am groot (groot), still.illegal (rocket)_

still.illegal: DYING

still.illegal: THIS SHIT IS TOO GOOD

still.illegal: _better_than_cocaine.png_

nobehindyou: first off you dont do cocaine dumbass

nobehindyou: second off WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING IN THAT PHOTO

still.illegal: COME TO THE FOURTH FLOOR CHEM LAB

butwhy: I am next door in the Biology classroom. I can hear yelling. There is one particularly high voice that sounds suspiciously like a little girl. It's concerning.

still.illegal: THATS THOR

still.illegal: YALL REMEMBER HOW THOR TRIPPED TONY STARK IN THE HALL THE OTHER DAY AND TONY ALMOST FELL HEADFIRST DOWN THE STAIRS

nobehindyou: “yall”

nobehindyou: also no i dont

still.illegal: thats because ur iq is like 7 and also completely irrelevant bc now you know

still.illegal: BUT ANYWAY

still.illegal: STARK LITERALLY STOLE HIS SHOE O F F H I S F O O T IN HOMEROOM WITHOUT THOR NOTICING

still.illegal: AND HE DISSOLVED IT IN ACID AND NEUTRALIZED IT OR WHATEVER THE FUCK AND THEN POURED IT INTO THORS wAtEr bOtTlE

still.illegal: SO THOR LITERALLY JUST D R A N K H I S O W N S H O E

nobehindyou: WHAT THE FUCK

freaks>geeks: you guys need to shut up im in detention with my dad and hes beginning to look suspicious

nobehindyou: oh sorry babe

i.am.groot: i am groot?

freaks>geeks: groot i am not doing this shit today

i.am.groot: hov yu got detention v/ fater?

freaks>geeks: took me a second to comprehend

still.illegal: xenophobia? is that you?

freaks>geeks: no, i just dont understand why he cant use a freaking w

i.am.groot: sowwy :/

still.illegal: suddenly,,,,,,, i hate you

-

**science bros:**   
_members: itswednesday (tony stark), rip.vine (shuiri), chemystery (bruce banner)_

rip.vine: WHITE BOYS

itswednesday: PRINCESS PICKLE

rip.vine: FIRST OFF

rip.vine: your dad a BITCH

rip.vine: SECOND OFF

rip.vine: MET NEW WHITE BOY

rip.vine: also PRETTY GIRL

rip.vine: also NEW NOT QUITE WHITE BOY

rip.vine: can i add them? this isnt a question i just thought id be nice and phrase it as one

itswednesday: FUCK YEAH

rip.vine: FUCK YEAH

_[rip.vine has added spidey.snapped]_

_[rip.vine has added sidekick]_

_[rip.vine has added crucialcrisis]_

crucialcrisis: thanks shuiri i think im pretty too

rip.vine: no problem girl

sidekick: oh! are these the gay white boys you hang out with?

chemystery: i feel… attacked

chemystery: but yeah thats us

chemystery: my name is bruce and you most certainly should not believe anything those two say about me

itswednesday: hes super gay and he has a crush on the quarterback

chemystery: like i said, ignore him

sidekick: okay bruce

sidekick: hows that crush on the quarterback going

chemystery: awful, he called me luke approximately 2.54637 seconds ago and my heart is broken :/

spidey.snapped: awww im sorry

spidey.snapped: i feel :/

crucialcrisis: no you dont???

spiday.snapped: you know nothing

sidekick: ???

spidey.snapped: anyway hi my name is peter and i like science and before you ask no i dont like spiders im deathly afraid of them but itd be sick to be one yknow

itswednesday: i do not know but i have decided i love you

spidey.snapped: aww thanks!!!!

itswednesday: np!!! my name is tony and im a rlly shitty friend

chemystery: tony

itswednesday: sometimes my friends disagree but wait like two seconds

rip.vine: im rolling my eyes

sidekick: i feel that

spidey.snapped: ??????

crucialcrisis: ?????

sidekick: ANYWAY

sidekick: my name is ned

sidekick: i like star wars

itswednesday: i love you ned

chemystery: no, that one is my child

itswednesday: NO i want him

rip.vine: why dont we all be a family and you two be our loving dads

itswednesday: hmm

itswednesday: acceptable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yall have NO CLUE the bio hw i skived off for this shit pls review

**Author's Note:**

> i feel like you should know that this story was begun solely because i cut the back of my knee shaving


End file.
